Towards a Lesbian Lifestyle

Victorian Society were loathed to accept a homosexual lifestyle; and believed it was an aberrant sexuality, which needed to be corrected or/and punished. Queen Victoria thought that the notion of a lesbian was something outside of the norm and preferred to think that this particular type of sexuality did not exist; and should certainly not be practised. Oscar Wilde, a well known playwright of the time, was actually incarcerated for sexual immorality. He referred to gay love as 'the love that dare not speak its name.(1)

In today's 21st Century gays and lesbians have 'come out' and openly share and practise their love for each other. Same sex relationships are not particularly frowned on, and seem less outside of the societal norm. Additionally the media tends to be less critical and public opinion seems less judgmental of this type of lifestyle. It might be argued that the radical shift in public opinion with regard to this type of lifestyle can be attributed to some extent to the willingness of gays and lesbians to openly discuss their lives and feelings. The increasingly popular 'Talk Shows' of the 90s have also been influential in encouraging others to appreciate that we all have a right to choose who we love and have a sexual relationship with.

There were and still are a multiplicity of television and radio talk shows which encourage open discussions on gay and lesbian lifestyles; and I would argue that in highlighting the subject matter it has become acceptable as part of the norm. This type of sexuality is seen as being quite common place, and is no longer perceived as being sexually deviant or unacceptable in contemporary society.

Furthermore it can be argued that stereotypes of gays and lesbians are less archetypal and the image of the 'butch' lesbian much less overt. It might in fact be said that previously there was a need to look different and so attract others of the same sex. This has altered somewhat as the media and society now accept the lesbian lifestyle as simply another way to love. Understanding it might be argued has given way to genuine acceptance of another lifestyle.

Recently while reading an article entitled Lesbian Life - What causes homosexuality (What makes someone Gay or Lesbian)-(2) I remember thinking it's almost as if it's perceived as a disease, something very undesirable and to be avoided at all costs. The premise of the article is to discuss whether there is a gay gene, as a possible explanation for the variance in our sexuality. If for instance you have the gay gene, then its inevitable that you would have a preference for your own sex. Essentially this illuminates the science versus religion debate. If our creator made us so that we have a preference for our own sex, then how can religious proponents condemn us, and say it's against biblical precepts for us to practise this lifestyle? It may be argued that this indicates that one's sexuality is not innate but environmental.

The article was also keen to explore our socialization, for instance did the subject become gay or lesbian because of some disparity in the child's upbringing; or was it caused by some trauma experienced in childhood or as a young person. The causes, reasons or factors for someone becoming a lesbian is briefly discussed in terms of it being a genetic condition. It suggests that our preferred sexual orientations is something we were born with, in much the same way as an inherited trait, like skin or hair colour.

So what makes you a lesbian, I'm not an authority on the subject nor do have I a wealth of experience on the subject. Basically, I'm speaking from the perspective of an observer, not a practitioner. On the basis of that I can only share my thoughts on the matter. Personally, I believe that you are not born gay, nor do I think it's inherited or in the genes so to speak. I believe that our sexuality is to a large extent based on personal choice. How far are our life choices determined by the society we live in; by our parenting and being a product of the environment in which we live? These and other questions should be given careful consideration when discussing our sexuality; it is I believe similar to assessing what determines our characters, personality and identity. Ultimately it is a personal choice we are making because after all we are conscious rational human beings able to make our own choices and decisions.

Veronica Williams

(1)'The Love that dare not speak its name' Oscar Wilde
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The%20

(2)Lesbian Life http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/comingoutadvice/a/causes

Veronica Williams is a freelance writer who enjoys writing about a variety of topics, but is especially keen to write about educational matters. She can be located at v.ambris12@mail.com

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Religion and Culture Towards Women Ignored Today

In today's world, girls and women everywhere struggle with their identity, character, and personality while trying to find their way through their belief system. Some are affected by their choice of belief system at their schools, work, and their community. The females that are mostly affected are young girls. Today, this is a subject that is ignored in the school systems.

We all have the right to choose our own belief system. But, when we do we should not be judged or penalized for it when we are in society. Most younger females that are apart of a religious background are not sure how to apply their moral psychological characteristics. This happens because in schools today, students do not respect and accept each other. Most do not because in their home, they are taught to only socialize with certain people or that some people are beneath them. Other students that live in a lower class community would take their aggressions from home, bring their home issues to school while challenging and lashing out physically on students that do not have the same "like status" as them. While at school they find a way to continuously interrupt the religious students day negatively. They feel this is a way to become popular and happier by bullying and picking on other students. This causes the religious student to become one or more of the following: rebellious, rebellious toward religion, sad, depressed, have identity issues, become mute, self destruction, loneliness,or have other abnormal psychological disorders.

To have an understanding of what to expect in society today about different groups of people, most students do not have someone at home whom can explain to them in a way whereas they understand. All schools have social workers that are available to assist students that have special needs or students per request. What about the students that are visibly religious and the students that are not? Although, religion is forbidden in the school system I believe there should be a "Real Perspective" class for all students in every school district. This particular class would be geared towards today's crossroads of social interaction and cultural groups. These classes would provide religious students and students that are not with a better understanding of what acceptance means, how to respect other's choices, have a understanding of other cultures and religious groups in society, and teach them how to become independent of their own choices while having confidence in their own identity. Students will then have the choice to become stronger and be able to make better choices while growing into an adult. The "Real Perspective" class would also lessen the percentage of trouble making students, fights at schools, detentions, and suspensions.

In the past, I too went through similar situations as the young girls today. I was born and raised on the westside of Chicago. While living with parents, my siblings and I lived a religious life. Our religion brought us joy, but at the same time it brought about many questions. Some of the questions are questions students and other women have had for many years. Questions such as: who am I? Who am I representing? Why people don't accept you for who you are? Why some parents chose a certain belief system? Why does it affect us in society?

When a child or teen is emotionally, mentally, or physically hurt it becomes a personal issue for all. Unfortunately, when it comes to culture or religion it is not taken into perspective today in the school systems. My heart goes out to girls and women that have gone through or is experiencing this today. I will try my best to connect with girls and women everyone by using strategies that will provide them hope, laughter, self assurance, growth, happiness, motivation, self sufficiency, confidence, encouragement, inspiration, love, and strength.

Today, I am not religious, but I have a strong belief system of faith and prayer. Because of the confusion of society and religion I experienced growing as a female in the 90's, I lived a life of misunderstanding which later led me to being poor for quite some time. Today, I am an author, co-founder of a non-profit family and youth outreach ministry, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, marriage and family counselor, youth counselor, legal advocate, and has a Masters Degree in Higher Education. Soon, I will have my Doctoral Degree in Philosophy.

I am thankful for the teachings my parent's have taught me. What sticks out the most is prayer and family. There is certainly nothing like the power of love and togetherness. If they didn't teach me these resourceful tools of life, I would not have known how to teach my children and others to become socially involved by using the power of faith in society. Today, I am also humbly grateful!

To help other women and girls positively overcome the affects of religion in society, I welcome you to share your story of religion at school, at work, or in the community at http://www.authorslj.com/blog.html. You will also be able to purchase in e-book format or paperback.

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